If we’re not leading, we’re following.
Most of us start off as followers and get stuck in it for a little too long.
A follower can also be an orbiter. I’ve been both. Both positions seem to represent a fear-motivated mindset, not an integrated man’s mindset.
In the business world, you’ll see orbiters hanging around the main speaker at events, as if in doing so, his success will somehow magically rub off on them. You’ll also see the same people showing up over and over to the same events.
In the dating world, it’s “the nice guy.” Need something? I’ll get it for you sweetie. What he really wants is a date that leads to sex not a friendship to where he may at some point, earn a date as long as he does enough nice things.
What’s going on here?
We’re not born showing up like this. It’s an emergent of our conditioning from childhood. Basically, it’s not our fault however, it’s our responsibility to change once we realize how we’ve been showing up and how things have been turning out for us.
If you’ve been showing up like this in life and you’re sick of the results or lack of, don’t double down, back off.
Back up, realize what you’ve been doing, and decide today, you will lead, not follow. How? Does not matter yet. What matters is being truthful with how you’ve been showing up, how it’s not serving you nor really serving anyone else. Once you’ve detached, you’ll be open to the “how.”